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This isn’t about my desires to eat my way out of a Twinkie the size of a motor home, or my hope that I one day gain super powers, and conquer Earth in the name of Cleveland. This is something else entirely.

In the work place, women have been subject to abuse for many years. From the harsh realities of having to sleep with the boss, to use the kitchen microwave, to cook the boss’s meal, all the way to the more subtle forms of sexual harassment such as inappropriate work place conversations about weekend exploits and computer monitor imagery that borders between awesome and vulgar, women have dealt with much discrimination and harassment.

Fortunately, work places have adjusted (for the most part) and corrected wrongs to make their environments safe and comfortable for everyone; however, a new threat has reared its sexist helmeted-head. Fantasy Football has unintentionally given an unfair excuse for men to bench their work, while women must continue to play their work and hope it scores them enough points with the boss to give them a career win.

“Work all day” isn’t a realistic phrase to live by in the world of multi-monitored work stations we live in today. People need time to click away from their tedious work load and relax their mind with an article from a blog they love to follow regarding their comic book hobby (365DaysofComics.com), with a quick browse through online deals (slickdeals.net) or watching a viral video on Facebook while tweeting about it. We need time to unwind our minds on the internet, so that we may refuel our abilities to do our work well, and hopefully, enthusiastically.

Dom's Desk at Work

Dom's Desk at Work

In a fake study that I just made up, it has been determined that both men and women enjoy using part of their work day to catch up on news and their online social environments. The study goes on to say that while the internet has an almost endless amount of websites to waste time on, men’s sites tend to take up more of their time, and thus add to their amount of time not working. (The study was thorough. Don’t try thinking of other variables that may make the study’s claims untrue.)

Guys know this to be true. They know because as they look over their open browser tabs/windows they focus in on the one that declares, “I am man! Fantasy Football was created by man, for man, to yell to the world of men ‘I am man!’”

(Pause as guys reading this high-five their male work neighbors.)

Unfortunately, the sheer fact that far more males play Fantasy Sports in general gives men in front of computers a lot more to do with their free browsing time. Women (for the most part) are denied Fantasy Sports by society and are therefore excluded from a fair free browsing experience.

I heard a story about how a woman was scolded at her work because a male co-worker saw her on Facebook. The male co-worker was described as a jerk and bro-like male which basically guarantees that he plays Fantasy Football. By using the power of Sherlock Holmes style deduction and looking him up on Facebook during my free browsing time, I think it’s fair to say that that dude spends his free time on Fantasy Football websites. What does it matter where the female in the story spends her free browsing time? Facebook has this work stigma attached to it: people using Facebook are not working and are wasting the company’s time. Yet, when men are on their Fantasy Football sites the most the boss ever says to them is, “Jennings for Jackson straight-up.”

I propose that women be given far more leeway than men, during the football season, when it comes to free browsing time. Maybe they’ve been looking at shoes for a long time, but I’m sure men have been looking at a new Tight End for much longer due to theirs only getting 2 grabs for 12 yards.

I should mention that here at Wpromote I have yet to speak with the big guy (boss) about Fantasy Football, and we understand the importance of time to freely browse on social sites and or sports fantasy sites. Yet even I believe that my time spent on Fantasy Football may be a bit much…for my record that is. I mean if I was 2-0 at the moment then at least that extra time on Fantasy Football sites would be worth it, but I’m 0-2! What have I been wasting my time on?


Side Note – My Fantasy Football Motto: If I win, it’s skill. If you win, it’s luck.)


One thought on “Fantasies Not Involving Women
  1. Dan P says:

    Awesome. Really thats the only word need to be said about this post but I’ll also through in there Very True as well. Maybe this study was based off or influenced by past work habits I had but reading up on my favorite blogs and what deals I can waste my money on don’t nearly take up the amount of time I want to be spending on Fantasy football and especially since I’m 1-1 in my own league I know I have a serious problem at running back that needs to be addressed. Although, I’m sure that girls spend a good amount of time on shoe sites and what jewelry they should by not to mention what the Kardashians are doing or should I say who they’re doing (oh snap!) I agree that guys keep the espn browser tab open all day long so that if they think hm…I wonder should I pick up this scab that had 20 points last week or just wait until after waivers and see whats available.

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