For the purposes of my OpEd columns, I had intended to pretend the 1980s never happened. Take a couple generations of kids with misplaced affinity for a decade in which they were barely cognizant and the highest rate of pretension per capita, and you can make a fairly accurate conjecture about how many ridiculous “Top 5 movies of the 80s” lists have been posted on the internet (a Google search of “top movies of the 80s” yields 544,000 results - really people?). I have nothing against the decade - on the contrary, I’m quite fond of the aesthetic developed during that time - but all the rampantly dogmatic assertions people spout about the period have borne a profound apathy in my outlook. A survey of 80s polls would probably yield very convincing support for the theory of acatalepsia.

All that being said, what few strands of idealism still hold my psyche together would not allow me to sit idly by while this esteemed organization basks in the epicly atrocious Top 5 list posted Wednesday. So, I began compiling an alternative Top 5 for those of us who actually watch movies…

Before we get to the selections, I need to highlight an often overlooked designation: in these postmodern times, “The 80s” is not only a decade but a genre classification. Accordingly, I’ve selected the “Top 5 80s Films” (genre) as well as the “Top 5 Films of the 80s” (films released between January 1st, 1980 and December 31st, 1989). So, without further ado…

Top 5 80s Films

1. Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

Early in the decade, first time writer Cameron Crowe and first time director Amy Heckerling teamed up and cast a slew of bright young talents to create one of the most hilarious, insightful, original, creative, and all around enjoyable movies ever. By shifting the focus to teens and teen issues (and putting together a spectacular soundtrack), Fast Times literally created the 80s genre film. Often imitated, never duplicated.

“All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I’m fine.”
Side Note: Heckerling would later direct a Top 5 90s genre film: Clueless.

2. The Breakfast Club (1985)

Sixteen Candles (1984) came before it, and Ducky didn’t show up until Pretty in Pink (1986), but The Breakfast Club screams 80s louder and clearer than any other film in the spectacular John Hughes canon. “The Brat Pack” was raised in one Saturday detention period. Impressive how this film is able to capture a period so well, while maintaining such a timeless quality with its spot on depiction of the pressures and pitfalls of teenage life in America.

“I wanna be just like you. I figure all I need, is a lobotomy and some tights.”

3. North Shore (1987)

Wherein our protagonist postpones college for a year, leaves Arizona for the North Shore, meets a bunch of wild characters, gets in trouble with the locals (Gerry Lopez & friends), learns to surf and live better with a wise man archetype, falls in love, refines his artistic palette, and takes on local surfer hot shot jerkoff Lance Burkhart (played by Laird Hamilton). Lead man Rick Kane isn’t the one to watch here though; Turtle is the go-to guy; his acting prowess casting a long shadow over his costars. In fact, Turtle is the single best movie character of the 80s, maybe ever. Yeah, I said it! (Sorry, Spicoli. The student has become the master!)

“I can tell you’re lame by the way you wear your shorts.”

4. Rad (1986)

My first inclination was to leave this off, as my list is veering towards the action sports oriented titles of the decade (there are plenty I painstakingly chose to leave off). Then I realized I’ve probably watched this film more than any other on this list, and it probably informed more of my life decisions than I’d care to acknowledge. My mom got me a copy when I was just a wee tot, and I can easily say it’s been watched well over 100 times. The tragedy of this film is that it has yet to be released on DVD, so it’s something of a forgotten gem. VHS copies have fetched silly sums on eBay over the years; of course, I would never sell mine! Oh, there’s also THIS.

With nothing but discouragement from every adult in his life, Cru Jones has to follow his heart and tryout for the huge BMX race touring through town. On the way, he dodges sleazy businessmen looking to exploit him, egomaniacal BMX villains he once idolized, and a Sargent Slaughter-esque policeman always after him and his friends. Then he has to start an independent company to sponsor himself in order to enter the race and prove his worth to all the detractors. It’s a triumphant tale about overcoming the odds, set to the most underrated soundtrack of the decade. Besides, what could be more 80s than a high school dance turned “bicycle boogie”?

“Hulk Hogan, eat your heart out! A BACKFLIP!”

5. The Lost Boys (1987)

Vampires? Check. The Coreys? Check. Frog Brothers? Check. Kooky Granddad? Check. Kiefer Sutherland? Check. Weird beach concert featuring mulleted bodybuilder playing a saxophone? CHECK. This movie has it all, need I say more?

“Death by stereo!”

Top 5 Films of the 80s*

1. Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

Believe it. Fast Times tops out both lists! In 2008, names like Sean Penn, Nicolas Cage, Forest Whitaker, and Cameron Crowe are household names with Acadamy Awards under their belts. Is it mere coincidence that Fast Times was the first appearance (Penn’s 2nd) for these and so many other future stars? I don’t think so. If you laugh too hard throughout the film, you’ll overlook the fact that this was one of the first to approach controversial subjects like teen pregnancy, drug use, abortion, and promiscuity. It revealed a new generation with new values, entirely distinct from, but indebted to the teens of the 70s. Remember, “whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.”

“I’ll take a meatball sub, a medium coke, and your phone number.” (I heard this was how Holly and Mike met)

2. Raging Bull (1980)

I’m not going to bore you with real movie talk here. Considered by some to be the best film of the 20th century (number 4 in the AFI 100), and victim of the worst Academy Awards hoax of all time. After Hours (1985) get an honorable mention as another Scorcese gem.

3. Brazil (1985)

An epic in every sense of the word. An Aldous Huxley/George Orwell style dystopian nightmare with strange comic relief. Aristocracy, Bureaucracy, and just about every other “-cracy” are satirized here with alarming affect. Terry Gilliam’s visionary directing at its absolute best.

4. The Shining (1980)

This would probably find its way into the Top 5 Horror Films of All Time. All creepy moods and spooky ambiance, bizarre and unsettling imagery, and a perfectly sinister performance from Jack Nicholson. You won’t find the blood and guts of your typical 80s horror/slasher here, but if you sit back and absorb it, you’ll be wringing your hands before you know it. Stanley Kubrick is simply a cut above the rest. Full Metal Jacket (1987) gets an honorable mention here as well.

“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

5. Stranger Than Paradise (1984)

Here’s our darkhorse candidate. Along with Down By Law (1986) and Mystery Train (1989), Jim Jarmusch took the American Independent scene by storm in the 80s. Down By Law might be better, but Stranger Than Paradise came first, and ushered in a new era of minimalism and realism in US film. Addressing themes of boredom and loneliness doesn’t necessarily make for lighthearted fun, but as Jarmusch has shown throughout his career, it can make for beautiful film.

…well that was exhausting. Future posts will be far far shorter. And let’s keep the 80s talk to Stone’s office from now on, okay?

* In reality, this list probably reads more like Empire Strikes Back, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Temple of Doom, Last Crusade, Return of the Jedi; but George Lucas is a jerk, okay?

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Some say it’s the best thing since sliced bread.

I don’t eat much bread. But iGoogle rocks. I began using iGoogle as my homepage about two weeks ago and my life has been utterly transformed. Allow me to explain.

Everything In Its Right Place (with iGoogle)

I love that Radiohead song, too, but that’s not what I’m referring to here. I’m talking about how easy it is to check email, note to-do items, update my calendar, and read the news from my iGoogle home page.

I’ve put my go-to apps like G-mail, Google calendar, Google Bookmarks, and Google reader on my homepage, and added to that a few key news feeds I want to see right away (The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and Digg, for blogging); a YouTube, Wikipedia, and Craigslist search bar (gotta have those); a time/date and a weather app (not that the weather changes much here in SoCal but I like the little blue and yellow icons that show the sun and the sky, they’re nice) and two inspirational quotes, one by Einstein (he seems pretty smart) and one by a ‘famous’ author that rotates daily.

Yesterday’s literary quote?

“There is nothing like being left alone again, to walk peacefully with oneself in the woods. To boil one’s coffee and fill one’s pipe, and to think idly and slowly as one does it.”

- Knut Hamsun, Norwegian novelist

Hmm. Never heard of Mr. Hamsun (a Nobel Prize winner), but seems like he might be antisocial. That or he’s a writer who gets all contemplative and needs to be left alone from time to time, to think and write and stuff. Wait.

What Else iGoogle Does for Me

In addition to soaring functionality and time-saving widgets, iGoogle offers me the chance to appreciate good art daily. I could have sprung for the “Picasso of the Day,” or even the “Dali of the Day” (I’m actually a huge fan) widget, but I chose a word art theme: “NOUS” by famed designer Philippe Starck.

It’s bright, it’s inspirational, it’s graphic. It makes me feel good when I turn on the PC and launch Firefox. It’s like my homepage is smiling at me or something. That could be weird but you get it.

It’s a nice theme.

“Dream a Little Dream”

Yup, that was a good movie, and you 80’s babies know what I’m talkin’ bout! Corey Haim AND Corey Feldman, in one flick? Genius. But if you really want to get me started on the 80’s (no worries), why don’t we take a look at “The Top 5 80’s Movies According to Wpromote,” based on the results of an office-wide poll:

1) Top Gun

2) Back to the Future

3) Goonies

4) Dirty Dancing

5) Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

Nice.  Looks like we’ve got some real movie buffs at good ‘ol Wpro.

Anyhow, the point of my “Dream a Little Dream” intro was actually to note that iGoogle is like a DREAM come true. How I wish all of life could be mapped out on my homepage in the form of colorful, easily customizable widgets. It’s almost like living in my own little virtual world where I control EVERYTHING (scary, no?).

Thanks, Google!

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The MySpace/Fox deal of 2005 took some users by surprise, but MySpace’s 580 billion dollar payday was instrumental in quantifying your identity and setting a price tag on your virtual identity. Three years later, LinkedIn has taken that valuation to heart.

Although you may have missed the news amidst the excitement of the last two weeks, the social network boasting over 30 million professionals and a user base that represents every company on the Fortune 500 list unveiled its new and presumably fruitful business model: social surveys.

How social networks make money (for now)

Ever since sites like Facebook and MySpace became the relative norm, social networks have been trying to make money in a variety of ways – from market research to advertising, the longterm value of which has been hotly debated, due to the thinking that people don’t login to Facebook to shop. While recent reports show that mentality may be changing, the value of advertising on one social media site alone is predicted to decline as the web continues moving towards an open platform.

Illustration by David Simonds

LinkedIn’s social survey model

Capitalizing on its influential user base of professionals and building upon its already successful advertising model, LinkedIn recently launched “social surveys” as a new B2B product selling user opinions to companies looking for demographic samples. The value of LinkedIn’s user base is the granular level at which they can be targeted - based on affiliations, age, hobbies, income, industry, skills, and more. Hopes are high, and the reason behind the excitement is two-fold.

First, LinkedIn’s ability to target users in a highly relevant way likely outshines that of sites like Facebook and MySpace. The latter collect data, sure, but this data is mainly comprised of a series of frivolous “facts” that don’t necessarily profile users to the degree required by market research firms. The former, however, can easily identify a sample of CEO’s in Iowa earning 250k or more. Which company is in a better position to sell its data? It seems obvious.

The second reason behind the excitement is tied to the model itself. As a reward for taking partner surveys, LinkedIn will pay its users in cash (50 cents to $2.50 a minute), merchandise, or access to survey results – which may be the bigger draw for professionals already making more than enough dough.

Why didn’t this happen earlier?

Brick-and-mortar businesses like the youth marketing agency StreetWise (who also does online promotions) made a name for itself as the go-to youth marketing partner for movies, films, clothes, video games, and more. This was because StreetWise leveraged its extensive youth network of early-adopters and tastemakers as influencers, and charged major companies for the chance to give their team free products in return for opinions.

What took so long for Linked-In to catch on? And what will happen once closed social networks become passé?

Good question. Any takers?

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It’s a sad day when a mega-company like Google has to resort to stealing in order to get people reading. I commend them.

Last week, after three years of litigation, Google announced a $125 million settlement to two class-action copyright infringement lawsuits filed against them in 2005, the first by the Authors Guild, and the second by five major publishing companies representing the American Association of Publishers (AAP). Plaintiffs claim America’s favorite search engine published copyrighted work online without obtaining the rights (see Google Book Search). Since it published only snippets of these works, Google claims its actions were in line with copyright infringement laws, but this proved to be a weak defense.

About Google Book Search

Launched in 2004, and with the eventual cooperation of over 28 libraries and 20,000 publishers, today Google Book Search publishes digitized snippets and bibliographic information for copyrighted works, previews of works included in their Partner Program, and downloadable full-text versions of works that have fallen out of copyright. Full-text searching of over 7 million books is available with links to purchase (or borrow) online.

The $125mil settlement at-a-glance

In the end, Google was able to compromise with the publishing industry. The result is an agreement currently under review by the US District Court for the Southern District of New York. If approved, the agreement would:

• Give Google the right to publish out-of-print book, in-copyright books for preview and purchase in the U.S.

• Make it possible for users to preview, purchase, and in some cases, read, full-text versions of copyrighted works online

• Virtually expand the holdings of U.S. colleges, universities, and other organizations who subscribe to Google’s library

• Provide free access from designated computers in U.S. libraries to full-text versions of millions of out-of-print books

• Compensate authors and publishers for online access to their works and allow them to opt-out of the project at-will though the creation of a not-for-profit Book Rights Registry, paid for by Google as part of their $125mil settlement

In many ways, this is huge boon for the publishing industry. With Google manning the ship, authors and publishers of out-of-print but still in-copyright works would be able to share their work with more people, and take a cut of the profits. Likewise, everyone else would be able to purchase online access to full-text versions of millions of books and save them in their Google account, creating a personal digital library (which could easily cut into library use and brick-and-mortar book store sales, but that is a topic for another day).

The downside

While some publishers are happy with the settlement and feel it is a good business model for hard-to-find books, many aren’t buying it. Since the settlement was announced, a barrage of complaints have peppered the Internet claiming what started as a good thing turned sour. Moreover, after reading the settlement, Harvard University Library (one of Google’s original partners in the project) backed out of the new agreement, citing limitations on access to copyrighted works as the reason. The issue at hand? Cost. How much will Google charge? Is it fair? And who does it hurt?

You be the judge. Check out the full settlement text here.

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